What a cop-out.

I wrote this a few months before I decided to publish it. Like most everything I've ever written, I didn't write it for anybody else to read. Writing, for me, is usually just a way for me to organize thoughts and get things off my mind. 

The co-founder of my sister Laura's company, Nancy Dorrier (Dorrier-Underwood) had volunteered to take me to a few radiation-therapy sessions. We had a blast on each of those rides. Ok, I did anyhow. Nancy is a pioneer in many ways, most notably as a female entrepreneur, business consultant, author, and so much more! She's an amazing person, and I'm a better person for knowing her. Seriously - Nancy is BUSY, but she volunteered to drive me down to 3 days of radiation sessions. Who (in her position) does that? Nancy Dorrier. That's who. 

On one of those trips, Nancy asked if I'd done any more writing. I'd been fortunate enough to be able to attend a writing workshop/exercise she hosted. It was a free-writing "workshop." Nancy is a big believer in the power of free-writing. Something I'd done in the past as a way to overcome roadblocks or come up with new strategies in Marketing and Sales work. But never on "personal life" type things. She was curious (as I'd be) to see if I'd done much since. 

I had just written something the evening before and I told her about it. After my description of it, she asked me a question that caught me off guard (as she's so good at doing!). "Are you going to send it to your Mom?" Oh geez, I hadn't intended to. And my Mom's priorities these days don't include checking in with my blog site, so I figured I'd be safe putting it here without her ever seeing it. 

That was 3+ months ago. Last week, I sent it to Mom in an email. (July 26, 2020). Thank you, Nancy! 

Mom always told me, "Billy, you can do anything you set your mind to." Or, "Billy, you can do anything you want!" Of course, this referred to what I was going to do with my life. Not what I wanted to do as a kid still living under my parents' roof.  

What a cop-out. How easy it must have been for her to tell me that. Why didn't she push me to be a paramedic, a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, a whatever! But no. All I got was a bowl full of soggy "anything you want."

I've been around the world. I've lived in over 40 places. I've never gone hungry. I've always lived in nice spaces. I've had more once-in-a-lifetime dogs than I deserve. I've been married. I've been divorced. I've met the rich and famous - from politicians to super-models. I pissed off a famous comedian because I was funnier than he was - and I wasn't trying! I've had great jobs, made huge sales. I've worked on groundbreaking projects. I've seen my favorite bands, plays, movies and art. I've dined on the finest of foods prepared by brilliant chefs. I've ridden in limos and driven great cars. I've been in looove with some seriously sweet and beautiful women. I've had friends I felt I never deserved. I have been blessed with an amazing family. I have 3 sisters, and 5 brothers -(not all from my Mom!) all so different, so amazing and so successful in the best things in life. I have a best friend who saved my life in more ways than she'll ever know. I have a slew of incredible nieces and nephews. I have amazing cousins. I had beautiful grand parents, aunts and uncles. I had two incredible Dads! And Mom... who always told me "Billy, you can do whatever you set your mind to."

It's midnight. I'm sitting here with a beautiful German Shepherd laying at my feet. The TV is on. Some documentary about who knows what. Daydreaming. Reminiscing. God, I've spent years of my life daydreaming. I've never considered a second of it as wasted time.

It dawns on me after all this time. After 58 years. She was right. I could have done whatever I wanted. Anything I set my mind to. 

And I did.

Thank you Mom. For encouraging me to live an incredible life. For pushing me forward. Always forward. For living a great example. And always loving me.

I love you.

Comments

  1. Wow I love this tribute from you and the teaching from her. You are a special son to know you have a special mother. Thankyou for using writing on the best way.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Please, feel free to leave a comment. Maybe a couple! *All comments must be positive and flattering when referencing the site owner.

Popular posts from this blog

My Juvie and Prison life.

Bill's Gratitude List and How It Came to Be